Maria

Lately I've been thinking a lot about my sister Maria. I mean I think about her everyday but she's just really been on my mind a lot. I miss her so much. I don't talk about her a lot because if I do I will get very emotional and I don't like to make people uncomfortable. Plus, I don't think anyone really understands the bond we shared. Maria was 10 years older than me and she was like a 2nd mother to me. After my parents divorced and my mom went to work nights the responsibility of Katheryn and I fell onto Maria. She was only 15. That's quite a responsibility. Because she was so much older we didn't have a lot sibling rivalry. Sure we argued but there was no competition between us. I went everywhere with her. It didn't matter if it was shopping or the movies or the beach. It didn't matter if her friends or boyfriend were with her. When she passed away I really felt like a piece of me died too. A piece of all of us. Our family was never ever the same. My mom's smile never quite reached her eyes, and our family had an emptiness about it. She died the day before I turned 15. So needless to say I really don't love my birthday. I just miss her so much. I'm sad that my kids didn't get the chance to meet her and neither did Jon. She was amazing. I loved and still love her very much. After my mom passed it's really just Katheryn and I left. I'm very grateful for her too but I wish there were still 3 of us. It's awful to lose a family member and I've lost 2. It really just kind of sucks.